I have so many random thoughts going on in my head right now, please bear with me!
First I want to tell or remind you that God is so good! He is always faithful! He is continually showing me how His mercy is new every morning, His grace is all-sufficient and He is my true source of joy and happiness. He has given me such joy after being held captive by grief for so long!
New Thoughts - “My Thoughts of Late” post was filled with the raw emotions I was trying to process. Thank you for all your prayers and love! Since I wrote it, God has also given me a wonderful feeling of contentment with the three boys I have. I had made having more children an idol in my heart and life. God convicted me of my sin, and has forgiven me of it. I pray for His contentment on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. The Lord knows I’d still love to have more children, but instead of hanging all my happiness on that next little one, I’m giving that desire to Him and asking for His continuing contentment.
New Decade - Shortly before 2014 ended, I turned the big 3-0! Instead of feeling depressed about getting older though, I’ve decided that my thirties are going to be way better than my 20s! Lord willing, I won’t be super sick for most of the next ten years. Lord willing, I won’t break my back again in my 30s. By His grace alone, I will keep my eyes focused on Him.
New(ish) Year - When the New Year comes around, people talk about getting in shape by eating right and exercising more. I have a different goal this year: I want to be more diligent and disciplined to spend daily time studying God’s Word. This goal isn’t just for this year either; this is my life-long goal. I’m asking the Lord to help me focus on my heart and soul’s health, instead of my outward appearance. Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” If my spiritual heart is unhealthy, so am I.
By God's grace I will "lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and ... run with endurance the race that is set before (me)".
1 comment:
Happy (Late) birthday! I am here to say that for me, my 30's have been way better than my 20's! I feel like my 20's were such a huge learning and growing decade; lots of falling and getting back up (which is good in retrospect) but so hard.
I love your raw emotions and posts on these things. I've been where you are. Wanting a good thing, but wanting it SO badly that it becomes an idol.
I'm praying God will bless you with more babies, but I'm so thankful to know that you are contact and happy with the 3 awesome boys he's given you.
Love your blog, friend!
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